Have you heard about the five love languages? Gary Chapman wrote a book on these and the aim was to help romantic relationships. A few weeks ago, I listened to a podcast where the host Vee (https://open.spotify.com/episode/6hSXKxKxwOfJl4o4Bvd5iV?si=8lycFWy0RumaIkanIGEOlQ ) was talking about flipping these Love languages on to yourself. Below I am going to list the five love languages and how I interpret them and flip them on myself.
Words of Affirmation
One of the best ways to apply words of affirmation is coming up with a mantra. This helps you talk to yourself positively and affirm yourself. Some of my favorite mantras are:
- All things work for good.
- Pursuing my goals is worth the sacrifice.
- I deserve nice things.
Acts of service
When I think of acts of service, I often think of doing chores for someone. If there’s any way that I can remove chores off my list, that is an act of service to myself. An example is buying/ eating out instead of cooking food. Going to the dry cleaners or any other laundry service instead of doing laundry. Ordering groceries online and having them delivered instead of shopping yourself. One of the things I value the most about receiving acts of service from my loved ones is that it gives me physical rest and time that I can devote towards other things.
Gifts
This one is the hardest and easiest. I often have a wish list of all the things that I want to purchase but cannot always afford. Once in a while I pick something, and I buy it for myself. This helps me purchase practical gifts for myself. However, I also like gifting myself more frivolous gifts such as flowers & candles. I also make an effort to get myself a gift on the days that others traditionally get me a gift. For example, gifting yourself a birthday or Christmas holidays gift or any other day your culture or family would exchange a gift.
Quality time
You have to set aside time to be by yourself. This is a beneficial wellness check. It allows you time to organize your thoughts. One of the key elements of quality time is spending it doing something that you enjoy. It can be watching your favorite TV show, reading a book, crafting, or journaling wellness&productivity-journal .Sleep does not count as quality time.
Physical touch
This can often be difficult. Some of the things I can think of are: hand on heart hand on stomach while you're doing breath-work, giving yourself a massage (foot rub or temple massage), and/ doing your pedicure and manicure at home.
Of course, some of these love languages will overlap. However, the purpose of this blog is to redirect our energy away from giving without taking care of ourselves first. I also want to highlight that there are things that we believe other people must do for us that we can do for ourselves.
